Release Date: 11/25/2009
Rating: Everyone 10+
Also Available On
I know what you are thinking, what the hell is Crash Time? Why should I care? Crash Time III is a diamond in the rough, but that diamond has awful voice acting, with an amazing modding community and really good racing, that kind of diamond.
Crash Time III is a racing game based on a German cop show, so immediately you can probably already tell it is going to be sub-par and on top of that, dubbed, well, you are correct. The first time I booted up CT3 I almost tried to stick a pencil in my ear in the hope it would sever my eardrum. This is no exaggeration, the voice acting is bad, in fact, I’m happy to say it has the worst voice acting in video game history. As time goes on, it becomes funny, and I will say that the best line of voice acting is at the end of the game where I truly believed every word the character said. This, however, was broken by the next character saying the worst line of voice acting in the game. Which reminds me, the actual dialogue is awful, here is a direct line from the game:
“There he is!”
“Looks like it…how do we want to stop him!”
“What do you think, cut him off!”
“He’s got so many horses under the hood he’ll just push us out of the way”
Who talks like that?! Really?!
The story isn’t anything to marvel at either, it is utterly ludicrous. Terrorists bombing the city and you need to stop them by going around destroying stuff, and there is a circus with a monster truck at some point. Yes, it is normal to be confused right about now. One good thing though is that it goes on for some time, and within that time you unlock a lot of cars, which is quite impressive.
The driving is perfect, however, you get the feeling that you are really going fast, and then when you crash into another car it will seamlessly transition into an instant replay. This doesn’t take you out of the action, and not once did I find it annoying, it just works. The damage on the cars is great as well, by the end of some races having your car twisted all over the place, it really is quite fun.
The game is gorgeous, with great reflections, shaders, and environments. The city of Cologne really does look nice as you cruise around as well as being quite varied with different areas and different styles of roads everywhere It makes you feel as if you are really cruising around. The modding community should also be highlighted here. If you can think of a car, 9/10 times someone has made it for the game, it just adds a lot of repeatability to the game.
Now here is the real part where you will all jerk back into your seat with pure and utter confusion. The highlight of this game is it’s multiplayer, but not online because it doesn’t have any. The main attraction is split screen. Bringing my crappy laptop to school every day, watching as many others who don’t play games very often bring in their own controllers simply to have a go in the chaotic racing. These memories are some of the best moments of my life and it is very strange that such a little game could bring this sort of joy. It is the kind of happiness that you find in gaming where everything seems to disappear and you are just frantically yelling at the screen when you see your friend pull into first at the last second to pull off one amazing victory. This happened way more frequently than in any other AAA title that I have ever had the pleasure of playing.
Overall, Crash Time III is a very special case. It is so cheap, so weird and quirky, with some of the stupidest gaming ideas thrown into it. But in the end, it has become a game I will cherish and never forget.