postal 3 |

Publisher: Akella

Developer: Running With Scissors

Release Date: 12/21/2011

Available Exclusively On

Man, where do I start? From a movie directed by the anti-Christ of video game movies to a game series that just refuses to improve on itself (whether on purpose or not is a mystery), Postal is just one terrible game series. Why Running With Scissors keeps making these stupid games with no improvements is beyond my comprehension.

Postal tries to shoehorn in raunchy and potty mouth humor but does it in a way that’s not funny. How that is possible is a mystery as well. From using porn actor Ron Jeremy’s likeness to dumb ideas like rampaging social justice soccer moms crashing porn shops, porn star signings, and other conventions with the lead mom looking like Sarah Palin, These ideas are dumb and should never exist. It doesn’t help that Postal III tries to poorly copy Quintin Tarantino’s art style. If playing as a guy named Dude and running around trying to help people but constantly failing because he ends up killing everyone sounds fun, this game makes it unplayable.

At first, it didn’t seem so bad during the tutorial until you realized the game has poor hit detection. When my reticle is over something and bullets don’t go anywhere near it, that is a serious issue and lazy game design. I honestly doubt RWS even play-tested a smidgen of this game. On top of all this, they used an outdated source engine, so the game looks over 5 years old. There are even sounds and effects pulled directly from Half-Life 2! Movement isn’t right either, like it’s still in alpha. Not to mention, some of the weapons in this game are just dumb. A vacuum that sucks up garbage and launches it? This isn’t Ratchet & Clank. Throwing feral cats? Using your own pee as a weapon? Not only are these stupid ideas, but they aren’t even done right!

The biggest issue is that everything is so mundane. Each “level” consists of the same thing over and over. Just run around killing these people. Nothing ever changes, and it doesn’t help that the game is really hard and enemies respawn until you complete the goal. How a developer can screw up this bad is just unheard of. It feels like Uwe Boll himself made this game, despite the developers making fun of him in the game. Postal is a homeless person living in the streets of the game world, and some people stop to talk to it but realize that it is just a foul-mouthed, unfunny piece of crap. Absolutely no thought or effort was put into this game.

There’s not much else to say, but don’t play this, or you will regret it. I wasted a whole hour trying to like this game, but I just couldn’t. Do yourself a favor and play any other game but this one. Even if you get this for free, it isn’t worth your time or hard drive space. Just ignore this piece of crap.