warioware |

Publisher: Nintendo

Developer: Intelligent Systems

Release Date: 01/15/2007

Available Exclusively On

WarioWare has always been about showing off the capabilities of Nintendo’s systems, usually in the controls department. Each iteration has been 100% unique to that system, starting back on the GameBoy Advance. Smooth Moves uses the Wii Remote and Nunchuck in really unique and fun ways, but just like too much fun, it only lasts as long as a snack.

Just like every other WarioWare game, you play small microgames that last 5 seconds each and are only given a single-word clue on how to complete that mini-game. It goes by in a flash and requires quick reflexes to complete. The main map of the game consists of 8 different mini-game stories that are just little hand-drawn cut scenes to make some sense of the crazy sense of humor. Games range from opening a door to weird men, picking a nose, shaving a beard, and whacking people with bats. There are probably 30 odd mini-games here, but sadly, you can go through all of them in less than an hour.

That’s about how long this game lasts, fun-wise as well. There are some side games like can shooter, stack the blocks, and a few others, but they get boring quickly. Honestly, this is a good entry game for new Wii system owners, as you have to hold the Wii Remote in certain ways, such as on top of your head, on your nose, or like a steering wheel. There are various “positions” that flash before each microgame on how to hold the Wii Remote, making this probably the most unique WarioWare game ever made. It’s super silly and incredibly funny, but also frustrating.

Some mini-games take several tries to understand what you’re supposed to do, and I got a game over many times because I just couldn’t figure out the microgame fast enough. It’s not a big deal because each “story” only lasts about 3 minutes, and you quickly go through all 15 microgames to reach a “boss.” This boss fight lasts 10 seconds and is just an extended version of the microgames. This includes driving around corners without hitting anything, playing the original StarFox, and playing a dancing mini-game.

I honestly would have been made to pay $50 for this game when it was released, as it’s easily a $20 game at best. It feels like a budget game, but it isn’t bad at all; it is just incredibly short and more fun to play with people around. I would have liked a party mode where other players have to jump after each microgame to make things crazy, or even some two-person mini-games. There’s a lot of missed potential here, but what we get is a lot of fun.

Overall, Smooth Moves lasts about as long as a large bucket of popcorn, and it’s all over, leaving you wanting more. It shows you how unique the Wii controls are, but doesn’t offer anything meaty to satisfy this unique playset.

Publisher: Nintendo

Developer: Intelligent Systems

Release Date: 2/14/2005

Available Exclusively On

Wario has always been a strange character. I didn’t really understand him or Waluigi, and I felt they were unlikable. I still don’t like either of them, but the WarioWare games have always been fun and wacky. Touched tried to utilize the unique features of the DS, such as the mic and touchscreen. I honestly feel this is the weakest WarioWare yet, with mini-games that are too obscure for the one-word instructions and some that even feel unresponsive. It doesn’t help that the game is so short that you can beat it in one sitting. I even felt the little stories were stupid as well.

The menu consists of icons that you can touch, ranging from “toys” to people who feature mini-stories. The stories are lame and make no sense, but in a bad way. You have to watch these stupid, long, unskippable cutscenes, and then you are thrown into a montage of mini-games. They range from slicing, tracing, pushing, pulling, spinning, poking, blowing, and various other acts with the DS hardware. Most feel appropriate for the hardware, but some are unresponsive. You will try to make an object move and feel like you aren’t getting anything done in the short 3-5 seconds you get for the game. It took me 2–3 tries for each level because the one-word instruction was too obscure to follow for these zany mini-games. The games are some of the weirdest yet, like a nude cherub statue urinating water on a mountain that’s on fire and other wacky stuff. Some mini-games are too simple, like popping bubble wrap, spinning objects to make them match, or even lighting candles. They start out super easy, then get extremely tough. Like all WarioWare games, you get four lives, and then it’s game over. The boss stages were really tough, and some were just frustrating.

Apart from that, the toys are just plain stupid. They last all of 5 seconds, and you never use them again. Things like making flan jiggle, banging on a piano, or blowing a little toy windmill. Why would you put these in a game? Maybe a 2-year-old would find them interesting, but no one above that age. It’s just a waste of space in which more mini-games could have been. There were just a lot of stupid ideas put into this game, and it was rushed to show people what the DS could do. If the game were longer or had better mini-games, it could have been something great.

As it is, Touched! is a decent rental for a day, and that’s it. The toys are lame, the games repeat often, and they are either too easy, too easy, or unresponsive. Some are even downright lame. It’s a shame because WarioWare is one of Nintendo’s unsung heroes in their library and needs more attention. If the game wasn’t so rushed, it would have been so much more.