Publisher: Sega

Developer: Platinum Games

Release Date: 1/5/2010

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When you think of sexy and video games they usually don’t mix. There have been a lot of attempts at using sex to sell video games and while some were successful such as Dead or Alive, BloodRayne, and Tomb Raider some weren’t such as Red Ninja, Cy Girls, and Rumble Roses. Where does this put Bayonetta? On top as queen and as one of (if not THE most) stylish, sexy, and witty female protagonists ever created in any media period.

Being a good and bad Umbra witch trying to unlock her past. Bayonetta has witty dialog and a super sexy British accent. I can’t describe just how shocking Bayonetta is in terms of design. She is scantily clad in leather with proportionate breasts and has beautifully styled hair and glasses that look good. She just makes your heartthrob when you see her, and no other female game character has done that for me. The cinematics in the game are very outlandish, outrageous, and just “I can’t believe they did that”.The game is developed by the lead designers of Devil May Cry and Resident Evil so if you are a Devil May Cry fan you know what to expect.

My last note on the design of Bayonetta’s sexiness is just how they incorporate it all into the gameplay from items to moves to summoning demons. One cut scene I can recall has Bayonetta sweating on a plane, and Luka watches the bead of sweat drip down her breast and drops right off her nipple. All while the camera is zoomed in on this at a side angle. Necessary? Yes. Why? Because that is just what Bayonetta is all about. Nonstop action with sex thrown in.

Getting down to gameplay you fight the good-bad angels from summoning the Creator to merge all three realms: Purgatorio, Paradiso, and the human realm. All these creatures are amazingly designed and there are a good 30 or so of them. Bayonetta fights with both her feet and hands. You can equip a normal weapon on her hands and either the shotgun or handguns on her feet. Using the Y button uses her hands and B is her feet. The combos are deep and almost endless since you can hold buttons down to charge weapons or use X to just use the handgun. Using Witch Time is a unique element that you must use at all times since time slows down for a few seconds if you evade at the right time and this is key to defeating certain enemies and bosses since some can’t be beaten without it. This is also incorporated into puzzles as well, but they usually aren’t all that hard to figure out.

Unlocking weapons requires you to find pieces of LPs of angel hymns and bring them back to Rolin in the Gates of Hell bar. Here you can also buy items, accessories, alternative weapon designs, and more. All items (like in Devil May Cry) give you either health, Witch Power, or extra life and you get the idea. Each comes in a small and large form and costs a good amount of halos (the game’s currency). There are only four different weapons: A whip, sword, guns, and Beowulf-type claws. Thankfully you can have two different load-outs and switch to them on the fly.

Anyways, when you finish a batch of angels you will be scored based on your combo style, time, and damage was taken and this affects your overall level score. If anyone is a Devil May Cry fan you will know this scoring system is brutal and impossible to score perfectly on every level. This is also Bayonetta’s biggest flaw since a lot of the game is hair-tearing, controller throwing, and frustration-inducing ulcers, especially when it comes to boss fights. There are five different medals you can get. Pure platinum, platinum, gold, silver, and bronze. Pure platinum consists of you getting the biggest combo style and killing all enemies in the shortest amount of time with taking no damage at all. Platinum consists of the same except you can take a little damage and so on and so forth. You are then ranked at the end of the level by these medals plus how many items you used and overall damage was taken plus time and combo style. If you do poorly (like I managed) you can get a stone award. Even on normal I did my best and thought I was smokin’ but I still managed to get stone awards at the end of every level.

On another note the bosses are fun and out of this world: They are ugly and big, and you just want to kill them. Each one is unique and one even has you riding around on a piece of debris in the ocean fighting a 200-foot sea creature. Epic? Sure it is and every second of the game is. Each boss and each fight consist of a little damage-inducing, button-mashing mini-game using Bayonetta’s demons or torture attacks. For the larger enemies Bayonetta’s hair turns into demons, and if you didn’t know her clothes are also part of her hair. She goes into a sexy pose and her clothes are stripped except for hair swirling around her sweet spots and you can pulverize the enemy. Smaller enemies have torture attacks that are gruesome, sometimes sexy, and satisfying. This can be done by getting your Witch Power meter all the way up, but take a hit and it goes down. There is no magic in the game and you won’t even remember since all the elements work well.

On a lost note, the gameplay is changed up in almost every level which leads to epic motorcycle riding levels, jumping across cars in traffic, shooting down enemies on a rocket flying through the air, and a whole lot more. There is even an arcade shooter in between levels that earns you points you can use to get items or exchange for halos. The game is chock-full of neat elements that have never been used in any game before (if so it is perfected here). If you want stylish over top sexy action then look no further than Bayonetta.