Doodle Jump is one of those perfect pick-up-and-play games. You are a little, er, doodle guy who is trying to make his way up an infinite ladder of platforms. You tilt the device left and right to move Mr. Doodle and tap to shoot enemies. There are various items on platforms to help you gain more height. These range from springs to flying hats, jet packs, trampolines, and more. Some platforms are wooden, so you want to avoid those. Some platforms move left and right and side to side. Your goal is to get as high as possible, but Doodle Jump has a unique marking system, so you can see your place marked every time you play, as well as that of your friends. The game connects straight to Twitter and Facebook, so you can see where your friend’s highest scores were.
The game isn’t much to look at, but it does have a certain charm to it. The background is grid paper, and everything looks hand-drawn, thus the doodle part of the name. Everything looks and plays simple, and for only a dollar, you get tons of fun out of this little game. This game isn’t good for long stretches, but it’s a good time killer. The game is also dangerously competitive thanks to its social-networking integration. If you love pick-up-and-play games, this is your dream come true.
Mortal Kombat is one of those series that is loved by all but then pitied. Mortal Kombat has grown over the years but hasn’t quite matured yet, especially in terms of visuals. Armageddon is kind of a potluck stew of every MK character ever dreamed up. This, being the goodbye game to the beloved series, has over 50 fighters and lots of different modes and is bursting at the seams with content. Most people will immediately dive into the arcade kombat mode. You will notice there is every fighter imaginable in the MK universe, and this includes bosses. Once you pick your character, you will see the classic Kombat Ladder, and the fight begins.
Once you start fighting, players of Deadly Alliance and especially Deception will become familiar with the controls. Mortal Kombat is not really a button-mashing fighter, and this is why a lot of people hate the series. Because they have to think before they start throwing punches. You can view a full move list in the pause menu, but when you get your favorite combos and the special moves memorized, you can start kicking ass. Each character has their own real-life martial arts style plus a weapon style. Deception and Deadly Alliance had two fighting styles and a weapon, but one had to be cut for balance issues.
The controls are extremely responsive, and the characters are animated very nicely. While they look a bit like plastic dolls and kind of fight like them, the animations are smooth, and there is no slowdown. New to Deception were arena traps, and this has been transitioned over to Armageddon. You will see either yellow or red lines around certain areas or objects. Yellow means that it’s just a dangerous trap that won’t instantly kill you but will deal some hefty damage. This can be an air duct that will shoot you through a fan, get knocked into a bell, or even into a giant egg and have acid spewed on you. Red lines mean instant kills, and you need to stay away from them. These can be grinders, deadly pits, or anything that can crush. A lot of the arenas are multi-tiered, and these will be marked with yellow lines as well. This really makes fighting intense, not to mention that the areas look awesome.
Fatalities are still here, as always, but with a twist. The MK team decided to do a Kreate-A-Fatality setup in which you don’t have to press any codes to see a staged fatality. The whole system is pretty complicated since there are transition moves and finishers, and each set goes into the other. You can do up to 11 moves, but you have to end with a finisher move for it to register as a fatality. With each move, your timer bar depletes faster and faster, so precision and fast input speed are a must. You can do a few forward chains, such as ripping out a heart, brain, or maybe a punch or two, then decide to go either into a face-down, behind-back, or on-the-knees transition. If you have to put that code in, then decide if you want to finish or continue from a behind-the-back transition set, on the knees, and so on. It becomes very complicated, and a lot of people don’t like this feature, calling it “generic fatalities,” but doing two fatalities for 50+ characters was too daunting, so they needed to figure something out.
Besides your core fighting in here, Konquest mode is back and better than ever. Forget the irritating, ugly, and boring deception. The team used the Shaolin Monks engine, so you get to fight in real-time via grabs, kicks, and heavy and light punches. You acquire power-ups throughout the game as well as perform fatalities by just pressing a button once the enemy is dazed. You can go around collecting relics to unlock hidden stuff in the Krypt, as well as alternate costumes, music, and koins. Sometimes you will run across weapons to hack and slash enemies, as well as do actual kombat with characters you run across.
The story is more interesting than any other MK side story that has a lot of mystery wrapped around it. New characters Taven and Daegon awaken from slumber by the call of Blaze (yeah, that hidden character in Deadly Alliance). Daegon is trying to find his father while discovering why he needs to fight his brother and how to become the new Emperor of Edenia. Overall, the Konquest mode is very entertaining and a welcome treat.
Another questionable mini-game is Motor Kombat, which is a cart racing game. This could have been greatly improved, but it’s entertaining for a while. You pick your favorite MK character (or a select few) and run across a star that will allow you to use your weapon or a lightning bolt, which is a burst of speed. You can bump people left or right into death traps (marked by red lines). There are jumps and the tracks are laid out differently, but there could have been more power-ups instead of just one set for the character, and I would have liked the levels to be more alive. Motor Kombat is fun at best with more players, but other than that, you’ll forget about it after you play all the stages.
I finally came to Kreate-A-Fighter mode, and this has been a huge request by fans since Deadly Alliance. You get a lot of customization options, and you can buy more accessories with the coins you collect from all modes of the game. You can set moves, fighting style, finishing stance, and even write out a bio (pull out that dusty PS2 keyboard!) You can do pretty much anything you want with the character, and there are so many items that no one will look the same. There are even some conspicuous items that look like superheroes or real-life heroes as well. You can take your character online and hone your skills against other people’s characters. As of this review, Xbox LIVE has been shut off, so local play is only possible. Besides, even before, no one was playing online anymore. This feature is greatly welcomed and is a blast to use.
The Krypt returns for a third time, but simpler. Instead of different kinds of colored koins, there’s just one type, and you can unlock tons of stuff. Anything from concept art, videos, sketches, alternate costumes, and music. Armageddon is chock-full of content, but it does have its flaws.
For instance, the visuals. While they look nice, they don’t really push the systems to their limits. The voice acting is terrible in Konquest mode, and like I said before, the characters look a bit like plastic dolls, and the animations are a bit canned. The Kreate-A-Fatality mode is not well received, and I would like to have seen set fatalities for each character. Motor Kombat is pretty lackluster, and it’s obvious the game needs a reboot. I also would have liked to see Chess Kombat and Puzzle Kombat from Deception included here as well, but they are sadly absent. Until then, Armageddon should keep fans and newcomers entertained for hours on end.
I know I’m late to the iPod scene, but Apple is finally starting to catch their products up to date software-wise. While Apple’s touch products (maybe Steve Jobs wasn’t hugged enough as a kid?) are ahead of their time hardware-wise, the Apple OS has always been lacking. With touch products like the Blackberry and Android phones out, they really show how old the Apple OS is getting. Before I start serving out what’s wrong with the device, let’s go into Steve Jobs Land (I don’t want to either) and see what the new 3G line of Apple products has to offer.
Stellar Looks
Apple has always been famous for making its products look the sleekest and most sexiest on the market, and the iPod Touch 3G is right up there. If you compare this to the older models, there are huge differences. It’s lighter, has a more rounded back, the touch screen is more responsive, there are external speakers (thank you!), the wi-fi is improved, and it has external volume buttons (hallelujah!). While the 3G Touch may have only gotten a nip-tuck, it’s enough to make you upgrade. While the looks of the hardware are enough to make anyone gawk, the bright screen is lovely, and the OS is nice for what it does. So, for the looks department, the 3G Touch is looking more like an iPhone, and the changes are grand and welcome.
There’s an App for That
No, really, the iPod/iPhone set the standard for apps, so this is the king of apps. You won’t find any apps as awesome as the ones on iTunes. There are apps for everything from ordering pizza and checking your bank to fart soundboards. Punch random keys into the search, and you’re bound to find something. Asdflwkje may come up as a Hooked on Phonics-type app or may be a word game. The app store is grand and huge and feels like the New York City of apps. Like in NYC, you have to watch where you go because there are a lot of rotten apples. I, of course, picked up the 3G Touch, which is mainly another handheld gaming device, because the games are getting really amazing on the Touch devices and are up there with the PSP and DS. While there are more bad ones than good ones, the good stand out on their own.
Of course, the Apple OS was designed to see and use all these apps, so that’s why the “dashboard,” as I like to call it, looks like a giant checkerboard. With app icons on a black background, it doesn’t sound exciting, but it gets the job done of keeping all the apps organized for you. You can manage an organization in iTunes by dragging the icons around or on the device itself. However, I hate the fact that you can’t delete built-in apps that you won’t even use as a voice recorder. There’s no mic! Why is it there? Maybe to make you so tired of seeing it that you go buy a 32- or 64-GB model with a mic.
Other than that, the Apple OS has a nice on-screen keyboard, but you can’t always use it landscape style, and this drives me nuts. The Safari browser works and does its job, but it’s nothing really special. All the default apps do their job well, and that’s what truly counts.
Under the Hood
If you take a look under the hood (ok, you won’t), you will see that the Touch devices have some of the fastest and most powerful processing hardware on the mobile market. The Touch has a powerful ARM Cortex A8 processor clocked at 600 MHz. Realize this is underclocked to conserve battery life, but if you jailbreak (hack) your iPod, you can get up to 833 MHz. To compare, the original Xbox has a 733 MHz processor. Of course, this is really unnecessary since most apps and games don’t push the Touch devices this far yet. The 3G has a more powerful processor than the previous Touch devices, as well as more RAM. In fact, the 3G has 33% more RAM at 256 MB, while previous devices had only 128MB. This, of course, will allow for faster multitasking once Apple OS 4.0 comes out. While it has a more powerful graphics card, Bluetooth, and all that good stuff, it makes for a powerful device.
The resolution isn’t as high as I’d like. Even the Motorola DROID has a higher resolution—about double, in fact. The 3G only has a 320×480 resolution and a 3.5″ screen. The screen could stand to be a bit bigger. A 4″ screen would be phenomenal, but for an MP3 player, we’re getting quite a bit.
It’s Still an MP3 Player
Despite all the other stuff this thing can do, it’s still essentially an MP3 player. The sound is amazing and even sounds great plugged up to an external audio source. The iPod has a lot of equalization options, playlist options, shake-to-shuffle, and so on. If you are a music nut, the iPod Touch is the perfect thing for you, even if you don’t want apps or games. If you even like the video, the iPod does a great job of displaying it in HD.
What’s Wrong With It?
Well, it’s mainly the Apple OS’s limitations, iTunes itself with all its weird copyright protection quirks, and the fact that the device can do so much more but requires user-modded jailbreaking. My biggest gripe is the fact that there’s no external memory option, so you’re stuck with expensive device choices. Other than that, the Touch is perfect for hardcore users or casual users.
I’m not really a traditional sports fan, but when something as outrageous as the Outlaw series passes under my radar, I have no choice but to pick it up. Outlaw Golf 2 is very mature, outrageous, and fun. What makes the series so outrageous are the characters, who range from mentally insane to sexually charged (such as Summer and Autumn). The game has a lot of modes, such as tour, exhibition, driving range, and a couple of mini-games.
The gameplay is pretty simple and plays like most other golf games, but with some twists. When driving down the green, you can switch camera angles to see where your ball is going to fly. You can change the power, and this is also adjusted upon swinging. The game has a swing stick setup, so swinging the analog stick is pretty accurate and not too finicky. If you time the swing right, you can go over 100% and do a power shot, but watch out because you overshoot where you want the ball to land. There are hazards to look out for, so you really need to watch out. If you start doing poorly, your composure meter will drop and bring it back up, and you can play one of two mini-games. These are golf cart games to get a perfect shot, or you can beat up your caddy. They are fun at first, but after a few tries, you get tired of them. One feature I like is that while you get three tries at a guideline, Hit square once, and you’ll see a line to the hole. One feature I love is the Gimme feature, which allows you to just press square during a putting replay to let you go ahead and sink the ball for an extra shot. This is only if your ball is almost in the cup and you didn’t quite make it.
I love the game’s mature commentary and smart alack remarks to the players. The intros and small animations of the characters are either funny or sexy. The best part about the game is that the mature content didn’t get in the way of the game being good. However, the game is very hard to beat, especially in tour mode. Even after trying over 10 times, I still couldn’t beat the first tournament against Killer Miller. You have to get ahead on the first hole, or you’re never going to win. Even if you factor in all the golf aspects like wind, elevation, etc., you still have a hard time winning.
The game looks pretty good, even for today. The courses look great, and the characters look great, so you have something nice to look at. The only issues I saw were some slowdowns due to the PS2’s limitations, but they didn’t hinder gameplay. Since the online servers are shut down (and there’s probably no one playing even if they weren’t), online play couldn’t be tested, but I’m sure it would have been really fun and competitive. There is a lot of extra content, like videos, outfits, clubs, and balls, so you have many hours of gameplay, and there are a lot of characters to play as well. If you’re tired of your traditional golf games, pick up Outlaw Golf 2, and you should have a good time.
Side games have been very poor when it comes to Mortal Kombat. Shaolin Monks is probably the first good one, but it still isn’t perfect and has many flaws. You play as either Kung-Lao or Liu-Kang, and the game is set in the Mortal Kombat II universe. The two champions run around different worlds, such as the Living Forest, the Wastelands, the Wu-Shi Academy, and even the Soul Tombs. They are trying to stop Shao-Kahn, but the story is pretty stretched out and not very good, even for MK fans. You come across fan favorites such as Baraka, Mileena, Kitana, and even Scorpion.
The game is an action-adventure and has a pretty solid fighting system. There are light attacks, heavy attacks, power attacks, and special attacks. Each character has their own signature power attacks, such as Kang’s flying sidekick, bicycle kick, and fireballs. Lao has his hat toss, among many others. The combat system is responsive and quick and is pretty fun to use. You can accomplish some big combos on the ground. There is the option to unlock new moves via points that you get from killing enemies, and yes, don’t worry, fatalities are present. These are performed by performing combos and building your fatality meter. One full orb lets you do a fatality, two lets you perform a mutality, and three lets you perform brutality. Fatalities can be unlocked by finding hidden red coins (trust me, they are a pain to find without the strategy guide). New fatalities are obtained by finding those red coins and unlocking “Fatality Images,” which are viewed in the concept art area. This can be a bit of a pain, and loading and saving are slow and tedious.
The game has combat puzzles that involve using your abilities. This involves knocking enemies into vicious death traps or testing your might with strength puzzles (MK fans will love this). Each level has different death traps, such as in The Living Forest, where you must feed the tree’s bodies before passing, and in The Soul Tombs, knocking enemies into spiked ceilings or iron maidens. The game is brutal, like MK is known for, and that will satisfy fans. Even the fatalities are awesome, but unlocking the best takes a lot of hunting for those red coins.
Getting through the game has kind of a Metroid feel since you must find certain abilities to reach different parts of the game, like double jumping, pole swinging, wall running, and fists of ruin. This, unfortunately, makes backtracking tiresome. What makes that worse is that some coins aren’t reachable until you get said ability, and this could be really far into the game, and you might forget to go back. This is just one of many flaws the game has. The combat system may be solid, but it’s a bit shallow and could have used some more depth. Most of the flaws revolve around the graphics. They aren’t that great. Even when the game came about in 2005, they weren’t showing the PS2’s true potential, and this is sad. The game is full of low-res textures and models, and it looks worse than the franchise’s staple fighting games. There are collision detection issues and complete hangups that require system restarts. Save points are scarce, and you don’t even have to kill enemies to progress. What’s up with that? There are only a few times where you must kill enemies to progress, but most of the time you can just pass them, and what I truly hate is the fact that they can respawn.
The sounds in the game are okay, but they could have been better. All the MKII sounds are used, so nostalgia sets in, but I would have liked some richer sounds. The voice acting is also terrible, but MK is known for that. The game doesn’t look high-budget, even though Midway (RIP) gives the MK team endless amounts of money to make these. This disappointed me more than anything, along with the super short length. 4-6 is the completion time, and some hardcore players could finish this in one or two sittings. What makes up for some of the shortcomings is the Ko-op mode, however, and this also makes those damn red coins more of a pain to obtain since some can only be obtained via Ko-op.
The game has fun boss fights, lots of secrets, and tons of MKII references, and using that universe will make fans happy. If you can see past the shortcomings underneath, this is a solid MK side game that I hope sees a sequel with a bigger budget. You can find this game for less than $10 in most places, so its bargain bin price point is just more of a reason for people to play this game.
I love the new-age sci-fi/fantasy genre that mixes real life with magic, and Spellbent is a grand example of this. You follow the story of Jessie Shimmers, who wants to just live everyday life with her boyfriend Cooper, and their familiars, Palimpsest and Smoky. Cooper teaches Jessie how to harness her magical powers, but one day, while creating a storm for some farmers, Cooper gets sucked into hell, and a monstrous Wutganger attacks. Jessie does everything in her power to stop it, but can she do it? She is then being chased by a crazy team of wizards trying to kill her. You follow her through a week of trying to find a way out of hell and rescue Cooper, and what she goes through is horrifying.
Lucy Snyder does a great job of keeping the book feel real while adding just enough magic to not make it seem like Harry Potter. Instead of wands and potions, wizards and witches in Spellbent must speak ancient words and imagine what they want to do. Usually, it’s just one word, but this makes the book feel more down-to-earth and real and not too fantastic. Talented people find animals called familiars that are spirits from another dimension sent here to help talented folk. They can communicate telepathically, and Pal is Jessie’s familiar. The whole mythology isn’t too deep; it doesn’t go into any history or anything, but it’s enough to feel fresh and new and keep you hooked. The book is very mature, with sex, foul language, gore, and seriously gross stuff. Lucy does a great job making you really feel for all the characters, especially Jessie and Pal.
The book’s main issue is that it has bad pacing. It starts out slow, then gets intense, then slow again, and 2/3 of the book is Jessie running around in the real world trying to figure out what to do with bits of suspense. It’s not until the end that she’s in another world, and you really get the dark feeling of the book. The book is raw, edgy, and very mature, and this no-hold-barred book is great for people who are into that thing. If you are looking for another Harry Potter, however, you should turn around right now. Lucy is a clever writer who can make you feel hooked on something that you know little about and that requires real talent. While the book may get straight to the point, it becomes a good thing so you aren’t falling asleep learning back history on everything, like some longer sci-fi or fantasy novels. If you really want a new fantasy book to read, pick up Spellbent, and you are going to be happy.
No, don’t panic. Xbox LIVE is still up and running. I’m talking about the original Xbox Live in that big, clunky green and black box. I know it’s a bit late, but on April 15th, Microsoft pulled the plug on original Xbox LIVE support, and you can now no longer play those old multiplayer games. Yes, even Halo 2 was cut, but that’s ok because you can still play the single-player games. They also cut leaderboards, DLC, and anything else associated with the original Xbox Live. While I personally have no fond memories since I was a PS2-only player during the last generation, some people will be saddened by this. There will also be no more backward compatibility updates, and this should have been seen a long time ago since the last update was in November 2007.
The Xbox’s production was even halted early on in 2006 due to poor sales, and NVIDIA (their graphics chip provider), due to the Xbox 360 being just released here, decided to no longer manufacture the GPU. So, if you were an Xbox lover, these past 4 years haven’t been good for you (same goes for you GameCube fans), but this is a new era, so let’s all hope the Xbox 360 doesn’t suffer the same fate.
I’m not really a James Bond fan, but I can’t help but pass up a good action game, no matter what the license is. Everything or Nothing is based on the film when Pierce Brosnan was still a famous spy, and Everything or Nothing is pretty solid. The story is pretty nonsensical and is your typical Bond plot with a bad guy (Willam Defoe) hell-bent on ruling the world. Diavolo has nano-mites that can eat through metal and plans on attaching payloads of this stuff to nukes. Bond runs into a henchman (Jaws) and a beautiful woman to stop the evil madman.
The best part is the vehicle sections, and the shooting sections are hard as hell and mundane. I’m going to throw that out there right now. The vehicle sections have Bond driving real-world vehicles with missiles, machine guns, flame throwers, and oil slicks attached to them. What makes the driving sections so grand is the sense of speed. Driving across a bridge, jumping through signs, and finding shortcuts to trigger “Bond Moments”. While these are hard to find (even in on-foot sections), they can be satisfying. Every driving section is different, from escorts to flying over rooftops to races. All vehicles handle very well, even at high speeds, and this is what truly matters.
The on-foot sections are mundane and extremely frustrating. Even in the easiest setting, the game throws dozens of bad guys at you, and ammo is a loot and hunt type thing. You start out with a puny P99 pistol, and the game throws about 10 bad guys at you. The lock-on feature is clumsy since you can’t lock on unless the camera is facing an enemy. If you get close enough to someone, Bond will put his gun away and start meleeing while other guys around him are shooting. This can make you die in very tight spots. The melee is pretty basic, with heavy and light punches along with counters. You can hide behind the cover, but this tends to be a problem if the cover is taller than Bond can shoot.
You can use a lot of gadgets, but they tend to be useless unless the level requires them. You get Q spiders, which are remotely operated spiders that can blow things up and go inside little nooks. The coin grenades are pretty straightforward but have crappy physics and bounce around like rubber balls. There’s the nanosuit that makes you invisible, but I never even had to use it since stealth in this game is very hard and almost not an option. The rappel gun is what I used most. Being a Bond game, I wish the gadgets would have come in handy, but they are if you really want to use them. The shooting sections are just so frustrating due to the unbalanced difficulty. I died over 10 times on certain missions, and there are no checkpoints. Some of the longer levels have one, but most levels have none, and this can make you throw your controller across the room.
The graphics are pretty decent for a 2004 PS2 game. The textures are solid, the audio is nice, and there are only slight framerate problems due to the PS2’s limitations. There is an online co-op, but this will never be tested since the servers were shut down. There are a lot of missions in this game, and it will keep you busy for a good 8–10 hours, depending on how many times you die. The game is pretty solid, and you won’t be disappointed. Even people who don’t like Bond can enjoy this game, and that’s the beauty of it.
I don’t mind sexually driven games, but I like them to be good and done right. Xtreme 2 is the sequel to Xtreme Beach Volleyball for the original Xbox. Everything is intact, with a few additions. It consists of six mini-games and five casino games, but that’s not enough to save this simple-minded game.
The whole point of the game is to play mini-games with other DoA ladies and earn their trust and friendship, and this is harder than it seems. The game plays similar to a Japanese dating sim game, and it can take forever to buy a lot of the items and learn how to become friends with these lovely ladies. You have to figure out what each lady likes, loves, and hates and send them gifts accordingly. All you get is a visual guide for each lady with pictures of what they like, but this doesn’t help much. After you spend a whole two weeks at New Zack Island, you pretty much give up trying to gain trust and friendship since it’s so hard to figure out without some in-depth guidance. After a try, you end up just playing the mini-games, ogling the scantily clad women lying around, and even dancing.
The mini-games are the most fun of the game, with pool hopping, flag running, beach volleyball, jet skiing, and water sliding. Pool hopping consists of pressing the buttons according to what is shown on the floaties. This game tends to be very hard since it requires precise timing. Flag-running is pretty simple, but the best game is probably volleyball. It has tight mechanics and controls, and it can be a blast to play. Jet skiing is very mundane since it’s the same track over and over again; however, the water effects are nice, and doing tricks on the ski can be fun. Water sliding is the hardest game of them all since it’s so hard to stay on the slide, and after you fall off, you don’t get another try. After you earn enough money from playing mini-games, you can purchase a camera, take sexy photos of the ladies, and view them later in your album.
The casino is the second major part of the game that lets you really earn some bucks. All the games are pretty self-explanatory; roulette tends to be the most intense, but you can lose all your money in one go if you’re not careful, so watch how you spend your money. The casino is all in 3D, so it’s nice to view, but I wish you could walk around in it and see all your DOA lady friends playing in there as well. When you earn enough money, you can go buy stuff at the store to give to your lady friends or yourself.
The game really has no purpose except to ogle your favorite DoA girls and try to buy the skimpiest bikini for them. The graphics are great, and everything jiggles in all the right places. The audio is pretty mundane, with Japanese audio tracks to cover the horrible English voice actresses. The game isn’t serious, but it could be so much more, and I just hope DoA Xtreme 3 becomes more deep and involved. I just wish there would have been more interaction, and all the load times don’t help either. The game is just too hard to figure out with the whole dating sim thing going on, so just sit back and enjoy the women and mini-games. The game will make you choke your chicken for sure, so DoA fanboys (girls?) should pick this game up and enjoy its simplicity.
I don’t mind sexually driven games, but I like them to be good and done right. Dead or Alive Paradise is a direct port of Dead or Alive Xtreme 2, which was an Xbox 360 exclusive. Everything is intact, with a few additions. One new character is added, Rio, and, as you would guess, the graphics are dumbed down as well as the gambling for some odd reason. No longer are you in a 3D casino, but you get to choose from a list of a few games such as BlackJack, slot machines, and poker, but roulette is now missing.
The whole point of the game is to play mini-games with other DoA ladies and earn their trust and friendship, and this is harder than it seems. The game plays similar to a Japanese dating sim game, and it can take forever to buy a lot of the items and learn how to become friends with these lovely ladies. You have to figure out what each lady likes, loves, and hates and send them gifts accordingly. All you get is a visual guide for each lady with pictures of what they like, but this doesn’t help much. After you spend a whole two weeks at New Zack Island, you pretty much give up trying to gain trust and friendship since it’s so hard to figure out without some in-depth guidance. After a try, you end up just playing the mini-games, ogling the scantily clad women lying around, and even dancing.
The mini-games are the most fun of the game, with pool hopping, flag running, and beach volleyball, except jet skiing and the water slide were scrapped from the game, and that’s not a good thing. Pool hopping consists of pressing the buttons according to what is shown on the floaties. This game tends to be very hard since it requires precise timing. Flag-running is pretty simple, but the best game is probably volleyball. It has tight mechanics and controls, and it can be a blast to play. After you earn enough money from playing mini-games, you can purchase a camera, take sexy photos of the ladies, and view them later in your album.
The casino is the second major part of the game that lets you really earn some bucks. All the games are pretty self-explanatory, but BlackJack is interesting since Rio is dressed in a sexy dealer outfit and spews cute sayings at you with some cute animations. Like I mentioned earlier, roulette is missing, and this was the most intense casino game in the original game, so I have no idea why it was scrapped.
The game really has no purpose except to ogle your favorite DoA girls and try to buy the skimpiest bikini for them. The graphics are pretty good for the PSP and resemble the first DoA Xtreme game for the Xbox. If you are lucky enough to have a hacked PSP with custom firmware, you can use a program called CWCheat and use the “nude” code for the game. Don’t get too excited since the girls have Barbie doll-esque bodies and the really naughty bits aren’t shown, but it does make the game that much more interesting for those lucky enough to figure this out. The audio is pretty mundane, with Japanese audio tracks to cover the horrible English voice actresses. The game isn’t serious, but it could be so much more, and I just hope DoA Xtreme 3 becomes more deep and involved. The game will make you choke your chicken, so DoA fanboys (girls?) should pick this game up and enjoy its simplicity.
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ORC is probably the worst game in the entire series. It's objectively awful. Being bad isn't different. Different is Outbreak…